A belligerent beige is what you are. Smudged and hidden from view are your stains, and like an old piece of canvas that is unmarked and uncalled for, you inhale. Maybe once you exhale again you will resume the search? Perhaps then you will befriend the cold air, and the clarity, and the calm above all. Stop running from her now, because she has sought you out. She will put you on, and wear you, and patch your skin. She will mark you with her identity. Submit to your loss and wait patiently to inhale again.